MANN Sunday/Monday July 16/17
Since Sharon & Debbie spent a good deal of the day Sunday with me, I will only briefly capsulize it.
He has been showing a marked indifference to me by playing poker every night. I decided a little independence needed to be shown by going out someplace with Sharon and Deb or just go home for awhile. Sharon, Deb, and I went to C.J. Bollers house to visit Mrs. Bollers. After 30 minutes, Mann came looking for me. He is not captivated by me, but very insecure when I am not playing homage to him. After bringing me home (with Sharon and Deb accompanying, he again went out on a ruse saying he was showing his house to someone. It turned out to be another poker game. I called where he was at 8:30p.m. and told him I was going out to eat (which is what we were to do that evening). He asked, “who with?” I s[ai]d, “alone.” He s[ai]d, “where?” I s[ai]d, “I’d think about it on the way.” He asked, “where did you get the money” I s[ai]d, “Out of your briefcase.” He then told me to call Sharon and Debbie and invite them out and “I’d better get some more money out of the briefcase.” I took Lian and Sandi out to dinner. He got home at 1 a.m.
He was very antagonistic all day. He got mad when I s[ai]d Deb was going to read one of his books (as I mentioned before, his irrational anger points are to touch any of his books or eat his callaloo stew). I think he would have made a big scene at Mrs. Bellers’ house if I hadn’t agreed to go home. He told me, in private of course, he thought I was really seeing Ptolo (Reid). Later that night he again mentioned “Ptolo” and s[ai]d he remembered what someone told him about me and Ptolo (I think he is making that up to get me upset and probably heard I was in Reid’s office a couple of times).
Sharon was a big help in cooling him down before she left [added unreadable note]. She sp[eaks]s with him about all of his comments about sex. When he asked her why she didn’t have a fella, she s[ai]d, “I’m taking interviews. Why, you ‘ve got somebody in mind?” Her quick relaxed comebacks are very good because my sense of humor is n[?]. He needs to hear relaxed talk about sex since that is his obsession. He keeps chiding Debbi about not having any children. He asked me what kind of entertainment we have up there- I s[ai]d movies, video T.V., dances (this is an important pint to all Guyanese), parties, sports, library. He s[ai]d, “what if someone wants to fuck?” “Where do they go?” I asked if that is all he thinks about. I should have known that was the intention of his question. I get so sick of hearing about sex. He is always making comments about how much I like that big black cock. (I never told him I liked it.) Everyday he accuses me of screwing somebody or having a boyfriend up there. He doesn’t believe it, I don’t think, but he harps on this same subject continually. Depending on the state of my temperament, depends the answer I give whether it is loving, witty, or annoyed. How should I answer? The same question comes up 5 times a day. I know he only wants to hear reassurance, but his insecurity is a bit on the insane side.