Wednesday July 26
I have been moody all day. It is the first time I had let this thing get too me but I am fine now. The constant pressure of this Barbados trip is finally ended. He had made reservations for me regardless of my protests and his anger was mounting each time I s[ai]d no. I thought for sure it would get to the point of threats both to the Temple and myself (bodily). Fortunately, the flights are all booked not even his influence can get us flights in and out of Barbados. This morning’s discussion of the trip (before he found out we can’t get tickets) was heated. He s[ai]d I was being told what to do by the temple and that he doubted if I’d even have been allowed to come to town if it hadn’t been ‘him’ (meaning who his is) and I’d wanted to come so bad. He s[ai]d, “your ‘counsel’ probably met and discussed it and thought they’d better let me go.” I s[ai]d, “If they were telling me what to do, why can’t I just pick up and leave if that is what I wanted.” “No one is here to stop me.” I s[ai]d, “I told you I want to go to Grenada instead. Why don’t we go there?” He gave me the excuse that it was too expensive and difficult to get in and out. That was our morning discussion of Barbados, then we had an afternoon one that was so hostile, you could cut it with a knife. Me saying “I don’t want to go and I’m not going.” Him saying, “You’re going.” This went back and forth. When he got the call about there not being seats on the plane, he s[ai]d, “it was all my fault. When someone doesn’t want to do something, everything goes wrong.” I s[ai]d, “I didn’t know you were superstitious.” He s[ai]d, “All black people are, didn’t you know that?” He then started making plans to charter a plane, until I told him how much George Grandsoult wanted to charge to Miami. Barbados is ended. He told the girl to book him on the first available flight to Washington so he may go Friday or any day thereafter.
I told him about Steve Katsaris having a homosexual affair and the black man stepping forward. I started the conversation asking if he liked Katsaris. He s[ai]d he’d only met him twice; once in his office at Washington and once here. He s[ai]d, “If what Maria says is true, I can only feel loathing for the man.” I then told of his affair and he s[ai]d, “Them’s white folks (something).” He made a couple of remarks about how strange the sexual life of Americans are! He laughed when I told him.
This conversation followed him making a pass at a 15 year old Amerindian girl who lives across the street. I made some remark which showed disgust (I should have kept my mouth shut, but she was just a little girl). He was embarrassed and then angry that I would think he would make a pass at a 15 year old girl. I know what I saw and heard – but he was not aware of my presence until he was well into his smooth talk which is why he got so embarrassed and then defensive and angry. After Maria being a topic of discussion, I think he got a little more concerned than he might have.
He is playing poker again tonight.
He met with Dwyer and McCoy today for a farewell drink to McCoy.